ZGUBIŁO MI SIĘ DZIECKO! POMOOOOCY!

Wierz mi, że nigdy nie chciałabyś poczuć bezradności i zagubienia, w sytuacji kiedy orientujesz się, że dziecko, które jeszcze przed chwilą stało u Twojego boku, nagle znika. Emocje, które towarzyszą w takiej chwili, bliskie są poczuciu, że dowiadujesz się o śmierci kogoś najbliższego. Można w kilka minut osiwieć. Niestety mimo czujnych oczu rodziców, ciągle słyszymy w mediach informację o zaginionych i porwanych dzieciach. Za każdym razem, kiedy słucham o takich sytuacjach, czuję ból strapionej matki, jej bezsilność i złość, kiedy mówi sama do siebie “jak ja mogłam do tego dopuścić”. Na szczęście większość przypadków, to fałszywy alarm, ale co by było, gdyby? Nawet nie chcę o tym myśleć… Jednakże MUSZĘ i Ty też. Musimy myśleć o tym, rozmawiać z dziećmi i zapobiegać jak najskuteczniej takim sytuacjom.

Jak powszechnie wiadomo, dzieci są małe. A małe dzieci niewiele rozumieją. Kiedy oddalą się od rodziców, nie umieją wrócić. Płaczą, a przez to w ogóle tracą orientację w terenie i dopada je rozpacz. Często wtedy biegną w zupełnie przeciwnym kierunku, niż ten, z którego przybyły. A tym samym oddalają się coraz bardziej od terenu, na którym zapewne szukają ich rodzice (bo przecież takie małe dziecko nie mogło daleko odejść samo). Może powodować to traumę nie tylko na całe życie dla dziecka, ale i wpędzić rodziców w białą gorączkę.

Nie bagatelizujmy sprawy, gdyż nie jest to wcale taki rzadki problem. Z kim bym nie rozmawiała, praktycznie każda osoba ma w rękawie opowieść o zagubionym szkrabie. Najczęściej historia dzieje się na plaży. Rozumiem to w 100%, gdyż za małolata sama to przeżyłam. Pobiegłam ze starszym rodzeństwem na zjeżdżalnie czy pompowany zamek (nie pamiętam już dobrze) i starając się ich dogonić w tłumie, zwyczajnie zgubiłam ich z oczu. Nie umiałam wrócić do naszego miejsca słonecznego polegiwania. Miły dzień na plaży zamienił się w koszmar dla mnie, rodzeństwa, rodziców i dziadków. Na szczęście, kiedy już piąty raz chodziłam przy falochronie w tę i z powrotem, jakaś miła Pani zwróciła na mnie uwagę. Zaprosiła na swój koc, uspokoiła i pomogła dojść do głosu rozsądkowi. Mama po kilku minutach mnie znalazła. Okazało się, że za każdym razem przechodziłam koło “naszego” miejsca na plaży i przez zapłakanie i roztrzęsienie po prostu go nie zauważałam.

Źródło: Pixabay, ukrywanie

Ja sama przeżyłam już swoje i dlatego zaczęłam szukać informacji, jak można zapobiec zaginięciu dziecka. A można! Zwłaszcza że sezon w pełni, a w takich chwilach liczy się każda sekunda. Zaraz spróbuję Was o tym przekonać.

Co Ty możesz zrobić:

I. WOŁAJ PO IMIENIU, NP. “JASIU, JASIU”.

Najczęściej, kiedy nasze dziecko zniknie nam z pola widzenia, wołamy je po imieniu, to naturalne i odruchowe. Jednak jeśli przez jakiś czas się nie pojawia, trzeba zmienić taktykę. Należy podbiegać do ludzi i pytać „zginął chłopiec, Staś, rude włosy, 4 lata, ubrany w zieloną koszulkę i czerwone spodenki w samoloty, widziałeś go?”. Takie postawienie sprawy zmienia w człowieku nastawienie. To już nie jest tylko standardowe wołanie mamy do dziecka, jakie co chwilę słychać na każdym placu zabaw, tylko POWAŻNA SPRAWA. Kiedy określimy takie charakterystyczne cechy, dziecko przestaje być anonimowe, a inni mogą od razu pomóc nam w poszukiwaniach, nie tracąc czasu na zbędne wypytywanie. Wyczytałam właśnie tę wskazówkę przy okazji historii o zaginionym chłopcu, który był z mamą na festynie miejskim. Ona tylko na chwilkę odwróciła się, bo zainteresowało ją coś na jednym ze straganów. Tę sytuację chytrze wykorzystał obserwujący ich człowiek… Na szczęście po 15 minutach poszukiwań (przez chyba już wszystkich na placu) chłopiec się odnalazł, ale wcale nie blisko miejsca zaginięcia. Okazało się, że “ten starszy, łysy Pan obiecał mi, że zaprowadzi mnie do prawdziwego pirackiego statku”, ale kiedy tego pana zaczęły dosięgać właśnie takie krzyki za małym Stasiem, spanikował i sam uciekł.

II. PODZIAŁ OBOWIĄZKÓW

Kiedy wychodzimy z domu do bardziej zatłoczonych miejsc, nawet do centrum handlowego czy nad wodę, ustalmy, kto ma na oku które dziecko. My z mężem staramy się rozdzielać obowiązki (czy to jak jesteśmy w kościele, czy kiedy dzieci skaczą po placu zabaw) tak, że on patrzy na jedno, a ja mam na oku drugie. W przypadku większej ilości dzieci można oczywiście interesować się dwójką. Chcę tylko zobrazować problem. Często nie dzieląc się obowiązkami, musimy nerwowo latać oczami po całym terenie, bo jedno poleciało na huśtawkę, a drugie na zjeżdżalnie i ciężko to ogarnąć. A kiedy wiemy, że drugie ma określonego opiekuna, jest łatwiej o spokój ducha. Kiedy jesteśmy gdzieś z przyjaciółmi czy dziadkami, każde dziecko ma przypisanego dorosłego. W ten sposób uwaga nie jest rozproszona i można zapewnić większe bezpieczeństwo dzieciom.

III. ZADBAJ, BY DZIECKO DOTARŁO DO CELU

To jedna z najważniejszych dla mnie zasad. Kiedy mówimy dziecku, żeby przeszło z punktu A do punktu B, albo przeszło do innej osoby dorosłej (zwłaszcza w nieznanym terenie), zawsze upewnijmy się, że do tego punktu B dojdzie, mając je na oku. Żeby przypadkiem nie pobiegło gdzieś w nieznane, bo nie wie, gdzie jest ten punkt, albo po prostu zainteresowało je coś zupełnie innego.

NIGDY NIE PUSZCZAJ DZIECKA SAMEGO W OBCYM MIEJSCU, ODPROWADŹ JE CHOCIAŻ WZROKIEM.

 IV. TELEFON ZOSTAW NA PÓŹNIEJ

Kiedy przeczytałam pierwszy raz “Chatę”, ta opowieść mnie wstrząsnęła. Jak w tak krótkiej chwili ktoś może zabrać dziecko?! Przecież tata stracił je z oczu dosłownie na 2-3 minuty. W książce ojciec pomagał pozostałym dzieciom, ale dzisiejszy świat pełny jest oczu wpatrzonych w ekrany telefonów, które rzekomo patrzą na dziecko, a tak naprawdę obserwują zupełnie inny (wirtualny) świat. Ja sama dobrze wiem, że to wciąga i ciężko zerknąć na ekran i nie zainteresować się czymś choćby na chwilę. Bywa też tak, że przy okazji selfiaczka, albo nagrywanego filmiku dziecko jest bez opieki, bo przecież to tylko moment. A kiedy robisz zdjęcia ( każdy chce mieć pamiątkę z urlopu), zajmij się ich obróbką i selekcją później. Na placu zabaw, na rynku, na koncercie, w obcym mieście, gdzie jest bardzo dużo ludzi nie trudno o wielkie dramaty, pamiętaj.

Źródło: pixabay, rozpacz

V. UBIERZ DZIECKO CHARAKTERYSTYCZNIE

Plaża. Rzeka. Mnóstwo ludzi tak, że nawet ciężko przejść do sklepiku oddalonego kilka metrów od brzegu. W tym wszystkim mała Ela, jej rodzice oraz ich przyjaciele, również z dziećmi. W pewnym momencie mama woła wszystkich na smaczne bułki z jagodami, ale Ela nie przybiega. I tu się zaczyna… Nerwówka, bieganie, szukanie, wołanie, strach, rozpacz, szlochy innych dzieci, bo może nurt już ją porwał i nic nie da się zrobić. A gdzie jest Ela? Siedzi kilka kroków dalej, na plaży, cicho jak myszka, bo, mimo że słyszy nawoływane swoje imię, chowa się. Specjalnie po to, prawie cała zakopała się w piasku, i jest dumna ze swoich zdolności. W czym problem? W tym, że mała ma czapeczkę w kolorze piasku, co sprawia, że praktycznie nie da się jej dostrzec. To prawdziwa historia, która na szczęście kończy się szczęśliwie, bo inne dzieci po kilku minutach ją znalazły. A wniosek nasuwa się sam. Kiedy wychodzisz z dzieckiem nad wodę, do parku, do bardziej tłocznych miejsc, załóż mu jaskrawe, kolorowe ubranie takie, które łatwo wyróżni się na tle otoczenia czy innych ludzi.

VI. ZRÓB ZDJĘCIE

Jeśli planujesz iść z dzieckiem na masową imprezę, gdzie będzie dużo innych dzieci i dorosłych, zrób mu zdjęcie* przed wyjściem. To dobra praktyka, by uwiecznić, jak dziecko było ubrane. W przypadku ewentualnych poszukiwań łatwiej i szybciej pokazać konkret w postaci zdjęcia niż tłumaczyć i silić się na opisy (zwłaszcza, że w nerwach często po prostu nie pamiętamy takich rzeczy). Oszczędzasz czas na wyjaśnienia, a przy okazji zyskujesz pamiątkę w postaci pięknego zdjęcia swojej pociechy 😉

* Wyczytałam, że najlepiej objąć na fotografii buty, bo przy kradzieżach dzieci, porywacze często przebierają je, nawet obcinają włosy, czy zakładają inne nakrycie głowy, ale buty zostają te same.

VII. NAJWAŻNIEJSZE – PREWENCJA!

Zawsze najlepiej zapobiegać niż leczyć, a w tym przypadku szukać. Dlatego ucz starsze dzieci (w wieku od mniej więcej 2-3 lat, kiedy widzisz, że dziecko już rozumie, co mu komunikujesz) DOMOWYCH ZASAD BEZPIECZEŃSTWA.

 A mogą one wyglądać np. tak:

1. NIE UFAJ NIEZNAJOMYM

Tę zasadę należy wpajać od najmłodszych lat. Powtarzaj dzieciom do znudzenia, że nie wszyscy ludzie są dobrzy i nie można wszystkim ufać. Często porywacze stosują metodę “na pieska”. Zachęcają zauważone dziecko, by wsiadło z nimi do samochodu, bo: “zgubił mi się piesek, pomóż mi go znaleźć, razem nam się na pewno uda” albo, że mają w domu/w pobliżu piękne i słodkie małe szczeniaczki, albo kociaczki i chętnie pokażą. Jednak Ty powtarzaj do znudzenia, że obcy i odpowiedzialni dorośli nie proszą dzieci o taką pomoc!  Ucz, że pod żadnym pozorem nie wsiadamy z obcą osobą do auta, nawet gdyby proponowała pokaz czarów. Również, że nie wolno brać prezentów, jedzenia ani picia od takich osób. Jeśli ktoś je czymś zechce poczęstować, zawsze niech zapyta opiekuna o pozwolenie. Zwalczaj w nim naiwność i zbytnią ufność innym osobom. Pokazuj, że uprzejmość to nie to samo, co zgoda na wszelkie propozycje.

A może pójść jeszcze krok dalej? Nie tylko, że nie może odejść z nikim obcym, ale także ze ZNAJOMYM. Z fajnym wujkiem, z sąsiadką, której zawsze na spacerze głaszczemy psa – nie może, jeśli rodzic o tym nie wie. Bo najczęściej takie sytuacje nie wyglądają jak nagłe uprowadzenia z zatkaniem buzi, ale jak niewinne i zawoalowane pójście w nieznane.

2. ZAWSZE MIEJ OPIEKUNA W POLU WIDZENIA

Mamę, tatę, dziadka, babcię, czy ciocię. Przed wyjściem z domu dziecko musi wiedzieć, kto będzie go pilnował i kogo ma słuchać. Kiedy jest w trakcie zabawy, od czasu do czasu miło by było, aby zuch popatrzył w kierunku, gdzie Cię zostawił i pomachał. Niech nie oddala się na tyle daleko, by stracić Cię z oczu.  A jeśli koledzy zachęcają go do zabawy w innym miejscu, niech zawsze przyjdzie i zapyta Cię o zgodę albo poprosi, byś i Ty się przeniosła, by ciągle mieć Cię w pobliżu. To bardzo ważne, byś była w miejscach publicznych punktem odniesienia dziecka.

3. W SYTUACJACH KRYZYSOWYCH KRZYCZ “POMOCY”

Może się zdarzyć, że ktoś będzie chciał odciągnąć gdzieś dziecko w niewiadomym celu. Wpajaj mu, by wtedy krzyczało “POMOCY” (jeśli jesteście za granicą naucz go słowa “HELP”), a nie “mamo” albo “tato”. Takich mamowych i tatowych wołań jest tyle w różnych miejscach, ile dzieci. Podświadomie uodparniamy się na takie wołanie, myśląc, że znów dziecko daje swojemu rodzicowi popalić. A weź tu zgadnij, że to akurat ktoś obcy robi z dzieckiem coś złego.

Drugim dobrym sposobem, jest polecenie, by dziecko krzyczało ” to nie jest moja mama/ mój tata”. Wtedy porywacz automatycznie inaczej zareaguje, a i ludzie zaczną zwracać uwagę na sytuację i może znajdzie się śmiałek, który pospieszy z pomocą.

Źródło: pixabay, wózek, zaginięcie

4. ZOSTAŃ W MIEJSCU JEŚLI SIĘ ZGUBISZ

Jeśli dziecko poczuje, że jest zagubione, nie wie, gdzie jest i nie widzi nigdzie rodziców czy innych opiekunów, niech zostanie w tym miejscu, w którym to odkryło. Mów, żeby nie szło samo w niepewnym kierunku, bo CHYBA stamtąd przyszło. Albo, jeśli jest w jakiejś bocznej uliczce, niech wróci do centralnego, otwartego miejsca, gdzie zapewne szybciej mama je znajdzie. Możecie ustalić z góry miejsce zbiórki tak “w razie czego” i określić najbardziej charakterystyczny punkt terenu.  

5. POLICJA JEST PO TO, ŻEBY CI POMÓC

Nie strasz swojego dziecka policją czy innymi służbami mundurowymi. W sytuacjach, kiedy się zagubi, ucz je, żeby podeszło do takiego pana/ pani w mundurze, albo do radiowozu i poprosiło o pomoc, tłumacząc, w jakiej jest sytuacji. Już teraz, kiedy jesteś na spacerze z dzieckiem, pokazuj mu osoby, które mogą mu pomóc w razie potrzeby – ochroniarzy sklepowych, policjantów, straż miejską. Pokazuj kasę, gdyby zagubiło się w sklepie oraz informację czy punkt pomocy na większych imprezach plenerowych. Na plaży mogą pomóc ratownicy. Jednak jak to zwykle w życiu bywa, w kryzysowych sytuacjach nikt ze służb mundurowych może nie wpaść nam w oko, a tym bardziej dziecku, i co wtedy? Najlepszych wyjściem jest nauczenie dziecka, żeby prosiło o pomoc inne mamy z dziećmi, lub z wózkiem. Mamy jak to mamy, na pewno od razu ruszą na odsiecz. GIRL POWER! 

6. UCZ DZIECKO ZAPAMIĘTAĆ PODSTAWOWE INFORMACJE

Imię, nazwisko, miejsce zamieszkania czy numer telefonu. Jeśli dziecko jeszcze nie umie zapamiętać tych danych – podpisz je. Umieść przy dziecku kontakt do siebie i włóż do kieszeni. W Internecie można kupić opaski na rękę albo zrobić specjalną pieczątkę na takie tłoczne okazje i na ramieniu, pod bluzeczką odbić dziecku. Co ważne! Trzeba powiedzieć dziecku, że w razie, gdyby się zgubiło, musi koniecznie pokazać to osobie, która mu pomaga znaleźć rodziców. A Ty lepiej, żebyś w tej panice miała głowę na karku, a w ręku naładowany telefon 😉

7. USTALONA OSOBA ODBIERA CIĘ Z ZAJĘĆ

Rodzice też czasem potrzebują odpoczynku, więc dziecko może zająć się zabawą na placu, w sali zabaw, biorąc udział w odpowiednich zajęciach, u kolegi czy w jakimkolwiek innym miejscu, które przychodzi Ci do głowy. Uczulaj dziecko, że z takich miejsc zawsze odbiera je konkretna, ustalona przez Ciebie osoba! Ciekawą propozycją jest wymyślenie hasła, które potwierdzi, że osoba jest oddelegowana od mamy. Hasło zna i dziecko i ta konkretna osoba. Ech… dzieci jak to dzieci – mogą nie dotrzymać tajemnicy i hasło będzie znał cały plac zabaw. Mimo to, kiedy dziecko nie jest pewne czy powinno wrócić do domu z osobą, która rzekomo przyszła po nie, niech poprosi tego człowieka, by zadzwonił przy nim do mamy lub taty, by to oni potwierdzili tę informację. Niech samo chwilę porozmawia z rodzicem, by mieć pewność, że to nie fałszywa rozmowa, wtedy będzie na pewno bezpieczne. 

Dzieci chętnie słuchają innych dzieci, więc może i w tym wypadku tak będzie. Patrzcie, co znalazłam:

Najserdeczniej życzę Ci, żeby taka sytuacja nigdy Cię nie spotkała, ale jednocześnie proszę, byś zaopatrzyła siebie i dziecko w ten arsenał wiedzy! Po każdym zauważonym “właściwym zachowaniu” chwal dziecko. Pamiętaj jednak, że wiedza szybko przychodzi i równie szybko ulatuje, więc trzeba ją powtarzać. Nie myśl, że raz powiesz i wystarczy. Przed każdym wyjazdem, wyjściem, imprezą, koncertem wykładaj wszystko jeszcze raz aż do znudzenia. Dziecko będzie wtedy wiedziało, że to jest naprawdę ważne.  

Obserwuj w miarę możliwości również inne dzieci, nie tylko swoje i interweniuj, jeśli np. samo wychodzi z placu zabaw. W takiej sytuacji na pewno pomożesz jego rodzicom. Nam już przydarzyła się taka sytuacja, że obce dziecię wyszło z nami z sali zabaw. Wtedy wzięłam maluchy i wszyscy wróciliśmy, a roztrzęsiona mama już biegała po sali i wołała smyka po imieniu nigdzie go nie dostrzegając.

Urlop to odpoczynek od pracy, ale nie od opieki nad dzieckiem. To zwłaszcza podczas letnich wyjazdów musisz być czujna. Postaraj się towarzyszyć mu na każdym kroku – na plaży, w wodzie, restauracji – nawet w drodze do toalety. Naucz swoje dziecko, co powinno zrobić w sytuacji, kiedy się zgubi. Zadbaj, by znało nazwę i adres pensjonatu, w którym przebywacie. Gdy znajdzie się w obcym miejscu – niech poprosi kogoś o pomoc lub czeka, aż odnajdzie je opiekun.

Życzę Ci udanego urlopu i samych przyjemnych wrażeń!

Opcja na miłość

Wymyśl 3 osoby, które mogłyby odebrać dziecko ze żłobka lub przedszkola, a nie powinny i w zabawie przestrzeż przed nimi dziecko. Użyj kilku zasad podanych w artykule.

Poświęciłam sporo czasu, żeby stworzyć dla Ciebie ten wpis. Udało się! :) Teraz Twoja kolej? Pragnę, by to miejsce było NASZE, wspólne. W związku z tym, chcę przedstawić Ci kilka OPCJI jak możemy pozostać w kontakcie i ubogacać siebie nawzajem:

  • PODAJ DALEJ -> Jeśli ten tekst Ci się podoba i wnosi w Twoje życie konkretną wartość – podziel się nim ze znajomym.
  • SKOMENTUJ -> Zostaw proszę komentarz pod wpisem. Dla Ciebie to tylko chwila, a dla mnie istotna wskazówka.
  • FANPAGE -> Polub moją stronę na Facebooku, staram się często wrzucać tam drobne, życiowe wskazówki.
  • NEWSLETTER -> Zapisz się do Newslettera. Dzięki temu prosto na swoją skrzynkę, raz w miesiącu, będziesz dostawała garść świetnych pomysłów (najczęściej dotyczących związków i relacji).
  • INSTAGRAM -> Możesz śledzić mnie na Instagramie, gdzie oprócz wielu fajnych fotek (nie tylko moich dzieciaczków), znajdziesz całą masę ciekawych myśli i codziennych inspiracji.

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