Przedszkolna Kampania Wrześniowa, wyznania adaptującej się mamy.

Pixabay / dziecko, jesień

Akurat, kiedy myślałam o pomyśle na kolejny wpis, otrzymałam list od koleżanki, który uświadomił mi, jak ciężki może być początek roku szkolnego, nie tylko dla mnie. Połączyłam nasze historie w jedno i oto powstał list do Ciebie:

Wiesz, przyszła jesień, zarówno za oknem, jak i w moim życiu. Choć jestem typem osoby, która mało narzeka, a więcej docenia, to mimo to ten wrzesień jest dla mnie trudny. Ciężko zmobilizować mi się do pracy. Poranki są takie senne i ciemne, a przecież jeszcze nie ma zimy… Mimo że miałam ćwiczyć, wciąż wybieram serial przed telewizorem. Ciągle przymykają mi się oczy i każde pociągnięcie nosem zapijam gorącą herbatą z sokiem malinowym, oby tylko przeziębienie się nie rozwinęło. Jednak to nie jest wcale najgorsze, od 4 tygodni mam kryzys emocjonalny. Moja córka poszła do przedszkola.

Tak postanowiliśmy z mężem. Wiadomo, mieliśmy wiele niepewności, obaw i pytań. Wierz mi, nie była to łatwa decyzja. Zastanawialiśmy się np., czy będzie tam szczęśliwa, czy da sobie ze wszystkim radę. Czy w przedszkolu, w tak dużej grupie rówieśników, ktoś będzie zauważał jej potrzeby (zwłaszcza te emocjonalne)? Wreszcie jak mamy sobie poradzić z rozłąką i płaczem.

Podjęliśmy jednak decyzję, wiemy, że jest przemyślana i z naszej strony najlepsza. Mamy też zasadę, że raz podjęta – bez gruntownego przeanalizowania, nie ulegnie zmianie. Choć czasem nachodzą nas wątpliwości, to nie zastanawiamy się nad nią więcej. Wiem, że ciągłe zadawanie pytań sobie i innym nie będzie służyć dobrze nam, ani dziecku – wprowadzi zamęt i niejasność, obciąży nas wewnętrznie i bardziej rozdrażni.

Mija 4 tydzień, a u nas ciągle przed zaśnięciem Patka pyta, czy musi iść po spaniu do przedszkola. A mi już tak ciężko tłumaczyć jej codziennie, że to dla niej dobre i że będzie się świetnie tam bawiła. Ma już przecież w grupie koleżanki, nawet opowiada o nich po powrocie z uśmiechem na ustach. Największy problem mamy ze spaniem i tęsknotą. Choć w domu drzemała bez większych problemów, w przedszkolu ma na to mega bunt. Co do tęsknoty, mam tak samo, często myślę o niej w dzień i analizuje, co może w danym momencie robić. Jesteśmy związane, do tej pory byłyśmy cały czas razem. Ale wiem też, że najwyższa pora, by zaczęła zdobywać nowe obszary, poznawać ludzi, bawić się z rówieśnikami. Chcę, żeby umiała odnajdować w sobie odwagę, by w późniejszym życiu było jej łatwiej przystosować się do zmian.

Przez pierwsze dni to ja prowadzałam ją rano do przedszkola. Była ekscytacja i ciekawość, ale te emocje minęły, ustępując głosu obawom i troskom. Wtedy nie dawałam już rady. Wysyłałam z nią męża, on ma mocniejsze nerwy, choć wiem, że i jego wiele to kosztuje. Teraz robimy to na zmianę. Najgorszy moment to rozstanie. Gdy płacze, przychodzi Pani i zabiera ją do sali. Wiem, że taka jest jej rola, by w ten sposób pomagać nam, rodzicom. Jest właśnie po to, by rozstanie było krótkie, ale zastanawiam się ciągle czy właśnie tak powinno to wyglądać.

pixabay / tata i dziecko

Przedszkole to nie tylko emocje i zmiany, ale i INFEKCJE. Mała już drugi raz jest chora… Zaraża przy tym rodzeństwo i zdaje się to niekończącą historią. A ja przez to wszystko nie bardzo mogę pracować.

Teraz w Internecie jest wiele „dobrych rad”, ale nie wszystkie pasują do naszej sytuacji. Znalazłam jednak kilka które są warte uwagi i uniwersalne:

1. ADAPTACJA

Adaptacja  oznacza przystosowanie do nowych warunków, poradzenie sobie, ZGODĘ NA ZMIANĘ. Adaptacja dotyczy przede wszystkim MNIE, RODZICA (to było dla mnie odkrycie, choć podświadomie to wiedziałam), ponieważ małe dziecko naśladuje i uczy się od nas. To istotny element wychowania. I nawet gdy jeszcze nie umie mówić, mało rozumie – obserwuje rodziców i powtarza nasze zachowania, gesty, miny, odczytuje mowę ciała i naśladuje ją.

2. UCZUCIA

Nasze dzieci przyglądają się nam uważnie i znają nas dobrze. Wiem, że jeśli ja zacznę płakać, one też będą się niepokoić. Jeśli ja będę chodziła poddenerwowana, to i one będą niespokojne. Dlatego na pierwszym miejscu wiem, że powinnam myśleć o swoich emocjach, to jest mój problem i moje zadanie, by nie przerzucać tego na Malucha. Muszę być powściągliwa i trzymać nerwy na wodzy, mimo że czasem sama mam dość. A we wszystkich tłumaczeniach nie okazywać niepewności, tylko raczej obstawać przy tym, co uważam za słuszne i znajdować na to odpowiednie argumenty. Niepewność pojawia się praktycznie zawsze, gdy powierzam dzieci w obce ręce. Czy to jeśli chodzi o przedszkole, czy o nianię. I to chyba na początku normalne.

W tej chwili ja też jestem w nowej sytuacji, do której muszę się dostroić. Niepokój, rozdrażnienie, smutek – to te emocje ostatnio najczęściej mi towarzyszą od rana. Wiem jednak, że one są naturalne, potrzebne i mam prawo, by je czuć. Bo miłość już taka jest, odpowiedzialna i czuła zarazem.

Oczywistym jest, że sytuacja rozstania jest trudna dla obu stron, ale to dorosły powinien uporządkować swoje uczucia, by móc prowadzić swoje dziecko. 

3. RODZINA

Pozostawienie mojej 3 latki w przedszkolu ma wpływ na całą naszą rodzinę. Starszak cały czas stara się nam pomagać i tłumaczy Patrycji, że to nic strasznego, że przecież on też tam chodził i było wszystko dobrze. Młodszy nie bardzo rozumie co się dzieje, gdy co rano szykujemy się do wyjścia i Patka histeryzuje tak, że nie może (a raczej nie chce) założyć nawet kurtki czy butów. Maluszek pyta mnie zawsze „A czemu ona tak płacze? Coś ją boli?”. I boje się, że zapamięta to i za rok znów będzie problem z kolejnym wyjściem do przedszkola. Staram się wspierać wszystkich, ale czasem zastanawiam się, kto wesprze mnie? Często za to słyszę kilkanaście pouczeń czy nawet wyrzutów, że coś robię źle. Zawsze wtedy tulę się do męża i dzwonię do przyjaciółki, bo wiem, że ona zawsze bez oceniania mnie wysłucha i zrozumie.

I wtedy wiem już, że otoczenie wyrozumiałością w tym czasie jest dla mnie szczególnie ważne. Bo jeżeli ja je otrzymam, będę umiała poradzić sobie lepiej ze swoimi uczuciami, a tym samym będę mogła pomóc swoim dzieciom.

4. CZAS DLA DZIECKA

Ostatnio po powrocie z przedszkola Patka wymaga ode mnie czasu tylko dla nas dwóch. Dziwnym wydało mi się na początku, jak zaproponowała wyjście do sklepu, od razu zaznaczając „ale tylko ze mną, mamo”. Przeważnie staramy się popołudnia spędzać razem, całą rodziną i dlatego zaskoczyła mnie tą prośbą. Ale poszłyśmy do tego sklepu i tam odkryłam, że to był tylko pretekst. Mała przytulała się do mnie, chciała we wszystkim pomóc, a kiedy zapytałam, czy już czas wracać, spojrzała na mnie tylko tymi wielkimi oczami i z uśmiechem oznajmiła, że może przyda się jeszcze krótki spacer. Teraz raz na jakiś czas robimy sobie taki „czas tylko dla siebie” i cieszymy się swoją obecnością. Wtedy zawsze jej powtarzam, jak bardzo ją kocham i jak jestem dumna z tego, jakim jest człowiekiem. To dodaje jej otuchy i mniej marudzi przy kolejnym „tak kochanie, idziesz jutro do przedszkola”.

pixabay / kobieta

5. KILKA DROBNYCH WSKAZÓWEK

Kilka rzeczy u nas działa jak należy i wydaje mi się, że to właśnie to sprawia, że jest „łatwiej” z dnia na dzień:

  • Dotrzymuję słowa. Kiedy mówię, że przyjdę po nią po podwieczorku, właśnie tak robię. Choć czasem ciężko rzucić wszystko jeszcze przed 15, wiem, że dla niej to najważniejsza obietnica na świecie. A ja muszę być autorytetem, który nigdy jej nie okłamie.
  • Nie porównuję do innych dzieci. W grupie przedszkolnej są dzieci, które pogodziły się z nowym wyzwaniem o wiele lepiej i szybciej, co nie znaczy, że muszę to wypominać mojemu dziecku za każdym razem, kiedy popłakuje przy zdejmowaniu kurtki w szatni. Są dzieci, które pięknie malują, śpiewają, zjadają, śpią i jest też moje PIĘKNE dziecko, któremu przecież też nic nie brakuje.
  • Nie obiecuję nagród. Na początku korciło mnie, by kupować jej jakieś drobne niespodzianki, by było jej miło po powrocie z przedszkola. Przemyślałam jednak temat i wiem już, że to nie jest mądre rozwiązanie, a raczej zagłuszanie własnych wyrzutów. Chcę nauczyć ją, że chodzenie do przedszkola to coś naturalnego, wpisanego w bieg naszego życia. Że to fajna przygoda, która nie potrzebuje nagrody pocieszenia.
  • Nie straszę przedszkolem. Czasem, kiedy już mnie denerwuje tak, że nie mogę, mam myśl „a niech już pójdzie do tego przedszkola”. Wiem jednak, że nie mogę powiedzieć tego na głos, bo uznałabym, że to kara. I żadne słowa w stylu „Zrób to […] albo wyślę Cię do przedszkola” to nie żaden środek do celu, a raczej strzał w kolano, bo dziecku utrwali się, że idzie tam, bo się np. nie słucha.

Rady radami, jest ich jeszcze tysiące, a u nas walka trwa. I jestem ciekawa jak długo jeszcze. I czy po każdym weekendzie będzie znów płacz i utyskiwanie.

pixabay / szatania

Tymczasem, jeśli jeszcze mogę, chcę zwrócić się do mam, które spotykam rano w szatni, kiedy próbuję uspokoić moją chlipiącą córeczkę. Proszę, nie patrzcie na mnie takim skazującym wzrokiem, ja też chciałabym, żeby dzielnie pomaszerowała sama do sali. Wasze spojrzenia powodują moje większe zdenerwowanie i pośpiech, który w sytuacjach kryzysowych nie jest wskazany. Słyszę, kiedy chcecie zagłuszyć nasze żale swoim „przedszkole to świetna przygoda, powodzenia”, gdy przybijacie piątkę na do widzenia swoim Skarbom. Ja też ciągle jej to powtarzam, ale chyba mojej Patrycji jeszcze ciężko uwierzyć w to, że bez rodzinki i domowego azylu może się dobrze bawić. I widzę, gdy wysyłacie Szkraby szybko do pani, oby tylko przez moje dziecko nie nabrały jakichś wątpliwości. Rozumiem to, ale i Wy zrozumcie mnie. Moja córka ma swoje emocje, dla których ja muszę być wyrozumiała, a nie zagłuszać je przez “no przestań już płakać”. I proszę, nie patrzcie na mnie tak, jakbym nie umiała dobrze wychować swojego dziecka, tylko dlatego, że ciągle jeszcze płacze…

Poświęciłam sporo czasu, żeby stworzyć dla Ciebie ten wpis. Udało się! :) Teraz Twoja kolej? Pragnę, by to miejsce było NASZE, wspólne. W związku z tym, chcę przedstawić Ci kilka OPCJI jak możemy pozostać w kontakcie i ubogacać siebie nawzajem:

  • PODAJ DALEJ -> Jeśli ten tekst Ci się podoba i wnosi w Twoje życie konkretną wartość – podziel się nim ze znajomym.
  • SKOMENTUJ -> Zostaw proszę komentarz pod wpisem. Dla Ciebie to tylko chwila, a dla mnie istotna wskazówka.
  • FANPAGE -> Polub moją stronę na Facebooku, staram się często wrzucać tam drobne, życiowe wskazówki.
  • NEWSLETTER -> Zapisz się do Newslettera. Dzięki temu prosto na swoją skrzynkę, raz w miesiącu, będziesz dostawała garść świetnych pomysłów (najczęściej dotyczących związków i relacji).
  • INSTAGRAM -> Możesz śledzić mnie na Instagramie, gdzie oprócz wielu fajnych fotek (nie tylko moich dzieciaczków), znajdziesz całą masę ciekawych myśli i codziennych inspiracji.

331 Replies to “Przedszkolna Kampania Wrześniowa, wyznania adaptującej się mamy.”

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